your everyday ordinary flight to paris 11:22 AM

so i arrive at CDG at 7:30am, as usual i'm at the back of the plane, usually this gets me out the rear exit faster since everyone goes for the front... but of course they only open the front doors... minor annoyance but ptl, wait for all the sheep to line up and bleat their way out and then... joy! no stairs, no walk across a hot tarmac, this "modern" airport has one of those ramps that extend straight out to the plane.

i make my way over to the RER station to get my train to Paris, only to find that the queue for tickets is a mile and a half long, no way i'm gonna wait for that... so ticketing machines, what a marvel of modernity this country is, NOT! the darn machine only accepts cards or coins...

now how MANY people that don't live in Europe are going to have EURO coins in their pockets?? nevermind that, guess what, they have change machines, hurrah! geniuses! oh wait, the damn machines don't accept 50 euro bills... what kind of stupid oversight is that?

fine, no harm done, make my way over to your local friendly neighborhood kiosk to change the 50 euro note into something the machine can handle and the sweet loving lady behind the counter that is PAID to serve, refuses to give me 2 20's and a 10, stating "i don't have change sir, there's a change machine just around the corner" me: "i know, they don't accept 50 euro notes", she: "well i'm sorry sir, there's a ticketing office there, you can't miss it, has a 2-mile queue outside...", me: "why thank you kind madam, i have all the time in the world to wait for hundreds of dumb tourists that don't know how to buy a ticket in under 30 seconds" .... skipping past the next half hour during which i attempt to find someone to change my stupid 50 euro note (plenty of people would've been happy to take it off my hands incidentally...) crossing the length and breadth of the airport, (nevermind that by now i'd have bought my ticket if i'd waited patiently in line... ) i go back to the kiosk, pick up a 1-euro bottle of water, hand over my 50 euro note, get my change which by now she magically appears to have.... guess i shoulda been thirsty to begin with...